There is No Happiness Outside One’s Self

There is anger and resentment, as well as fear at loss of control when loss is involuntary and unexpected. Disruption of life by the unexpected also creates anxiety at the forced readjustment, which may require major decision-making. … all suffering and emotional pain result from resistance. Its cure is via surrender and acceptance, which relieve the pain.

… A basic truth to be realized in the process is that there is no possible, actual source of happiness outside one’s self. Loss really brings long-standing illusions to the surface, along with opportunities to lessen its dominance in the psyche. The ego has a multitude of attachments to beliefs, slogans, objects, people, titles, money, conveniences, entertainment, furnishings, sentimental tokens, and memories of all the above. The ego/mind cherishes that which is temporary and transitory because it is valued as ‘special’ and therefore sees it as a ‘source’ of happiness.

Paradoxically, loss is simultaneously freedom and the opening of new options. Loss services inner adaptations and qualities that represent opportunities for growth. Simultaneously, the mind regrets and would like to undo change and return to the comfort of former circumstances, but evolutionary developmental growth is insistent. 


… All forms of loss are a confrontation to the ego and its survival mechanisms. All aspects of human life are transient; therefore, to cling to any aspect eventually brings grief and loss. Each incident, however, is an opportunity to search within for the source of life, which is ever present, unchanging, and not subject to loss or the ravages of time.

Grief or loss, like any stressful situation in life, can be seen as a valuable growth opportunity and a time for reassessment of values and goals. If this is followed, eventually it is possible to let go of all attachments, including belief systems, and experience the source of happiness that emanates from within.

From Transcending the Levels of Consciousness: The Stairway to Enlightenment p. 94-96

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