Harboring chronic resentments and milking āinjusticesā.
Unrealistic expectations of the world and relationships, including expectations of convenience, agreement, approval, compliance, and others.
Surrendering self-centeredness as a lifestyle andĀ focusing on changing oneself instead of the world.
Willingness to surrender the residual infantile expectations (of age two) of self, others, and the perceived imperfect world, e.g. ‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference’ (as per the 12-step program).
Taking responsibilityĀ for bringing inner infantile attitudes to the surface and subordinating them to mature and essentially more gratifying processes, such as reason, balance, and concern for others.
Realize that resentment or anger is not about what others āareā,Ā but about what they āare notāĀ (i.e., ānotā generous, rather than stingy; ānotā unselfish, but selfish; ānotā careful, but thoughtless, etc.)
… The processing out of anger requires inner honesty and the willingness toĀ surrender what is not integrous and essentially unworkableĀ and replace it with self-confidence.
…Ā Willingness enables the surrender of short-term self-indulgence for long-term spiritual growth.