Q: What do you think is the most frequent cause for our resistance to surrender?
A: We think that somehow, if we hang on to that feeling, it is going to get us what we want. If we get stuck in a feeling, it is useful to look at the question of what we think we have accomplished by hanging on to it. We will almost always find that we have a fantasy that it will have some effect on some other person and change their behavior or attitudes toward us. If we let go of that, we become willing to let go of the feeling.
Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender, Ch. 21, pg. 328