…Why does the ego hangout with shame and guilt, fear, all that stuff – with greed, with desire, with lust, with hatred? Why? Because it gets a payoff. The ego mulches negativity, and it gets juice out of it. The ego survives by virtue of the juice it gets.
…The willingness to surrender to let go of the payoff of the ego allows you to let go experientially as it arises. The willingness to let go of the payoff of grief, anger, resentment, hatred. So, what do you surrender to God in the way of surrender? What does devotion mean? “I love thee, oh Lord, greater than I love the glee I get out of my hatreds, my wickedness, my shame, my guilt, my revenge.” Either you love God or you love your revenge.You can’t have them both….so it’s always really a choice.
Am I willing to surrender this for the love of God or not?
New! The Highest Level of Enlightenment, Ch. 10, pg. 92-93